wasted days ...

With Dad's physical state, someone needs to be here with him 24/7. Isaac is headed off for college come January and Dad's lack of trust in Melissa to lift him doesn't allow for me to get a (paying) job. 

As much as people complain about having to work everyday, at least when I was working, not only did I have a paycheck to help pay the monthly bills (as well as have some pocket money of my own), at the end of the day, I felt like I did something productive -- I had some self-respect. 

Dad sits here day in, day out in front of his idiot box and is content with it. We sit here day after day after day. 

The days keep slipping away. I feel like life is a waste these days. We never do anything, just sit here. Hours pass, days pass, months pass. 

Dad's routine is going from his bed to his TV and then back. That's it. He's convinced  he cannot do anything. I wish he was more of a "I can" instead of focusing on the "I can only do" kind of guy, but he has always seen the negative rather than the positive.

I tell him I am here for his benefit. I will take him wherever he wants, we can do whatever he wants, but he doesn't ever want to do anything but watch TV. Personally, I hate TV, but it's not about me.

So why bother typing up a blog about nothing? What is this a Seinfeld blog?   ;j

About a couple months ago, he suggested getting an old 30s model Ford project to work on. Cool! 

I told him  that would be great, but it would be something he would have to have a hand in. This would mean him actually going out to the garage and working on it WITH me. 

He seemed to be excited ... briefly. It is always fleeting with him. He has since found reasons that this isn't going to happen.

He bought a Goldwing with a sidecar and was all excited and talked about road trips for about a week or so. He still has yet to get in it. Granted, I was spooked the first couple of times on it, but I have since gotten a bit more comfortable with it.

Earlier this year, he dropped $30+ K on a new Challenger R/T and it sits in the driveway almost all the time. It only has about 400 miles on it, 250 of which were put on that first weekend. He also has an old mustang that sits in the garage collecting dust. Oh sure, these cars get out periodically to keep fluids flowing, but really it's a  rare thing.

He talks about going to a bar one of these days. We never do. He talks about going to Florida again to see old friends one of these days. We never do. "One of these days" ... damn, I wish I had a dollar for every time I have heard him say that phrase!

The past three days we were supposed to go do the weekly chore of shopping. Basically, it's the only time he ever gets out of the house anymore. Two days ago, he was sick, yesterday I was. Today was nasty and rainy, so again, we ... just .... sit ... here! I guess we are waiting on "one of these days".  

Total waste! I don't want him to go out all the time and spend money. However, I can't stand to see him sit here and constantly do NOTHING! It's pathetic!