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Friday, February 8, 2013

complacency

Why can we not just appreciate what we have ... EVERYDAY we have it? I am not referring to any specific phenomenon, but just things ... life ... in general! Why can we not appreciate it when we have it?

Why does it have to be gone before we realize how good we had it?

Life is hard enough without us making it harder. I don't understand why I don't have a greater feel for what I have, WHEN I have it!

I am blessed, I know this. Sometimes, I get trivial and take for granted what I have.

I suppose we all do, to some extent; maybe it's just human nature. It doesn't mean I understand it, or that that fact makes it any better.

I love my wife! I DO! That poor woman endures a LOT!

I don't always let her know where she stands with me (with words), yet by now, I would think that she SHOULD know by now where she stands with me. The point is, I don't take the time to say those magic words women want to hear -- I'm not that guy, never have been. She KNOWS where I stand, I just don't say it.

I have a great love for my kids. They both drive me crazy ... in different ways. Yet, I love them, again this is not shared with words. Yet, again, the point is that I don't necessarily show proper appreciation of them in that moment.

I used to have a job. It was a menial job, yet it was a great feeling to work and feel like I was doing something that mattered (at some point). Due to circumstances that are what they are, I have not worked for the past 5? years. Funny, there were mornings I  used to dread going to work. Heh! What I wouldn't give to suffer that again!

I obviously know the things that matter. Why can I not appreciate them at the time that I have them? NOT when they are gone!

I fear one day it will get to that point where I realize it and is too late. Right now, my wife and kids deal, hopefully, I will mature before those are gone as well. My history gives me little hope, my stubborn, persistent attitude makes me think there's a chance.





2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I believe in you, Daddy.

edsrockin said...

awww. thanks young lady!