bittersweet? sure, but worth it!

So  I have tried to type this writeup three times now and have been highly unsuccessful. Each time, I have managed to close out of this site without typing so much as a letter!

Grandpa (my father's dad) died here a couple Saturdays ago. Dad initially said he was going to go.

Of course, that was short-lived and he backed out as I predicted and expected. This pissed me off because *I* wanted to go! but apparently wasn't going to get the opportunity now.

As plans were being made, Melissa, who has a phone, kept up with arrangements and put in for bereavement leave. She told me that was her plan and I figured she was going up since I could not -- after all, no sense in BOTH of us missing it.

Nope! that woman is something else! She put in for leave so that *I* could go! BLESS HER HEART!

In the meantime (again since they had phones and could communicate) Megan asked her professors for the time off with good graces and was granted just that. So it was all systems go!

Grandpa's funeral was set for Thursday morning in southwest Massachussettes so the plan was to leave here at 6 AM Wednesday. The idea was to NOT hit rush hour in any major city. Going from east TN to southwest MA there aren't many, but I have fine-tuned it so that a 6 AM departure keeps me out of the worst areas at the worst times.

We left on time (possibly about 20 minutes early) and were rolling along just fine. We never did hit any major traffic and even had time to stop for lunch (something I don't normally do, but was with Megan so allowances had to be made). At one gas stop late in the day, I noticed a Friendly's sign and it was decided that would be lunch. I *do* LOVE their black raspberry ice cream ... DONE!

After lunch we continued making time and avoiding traffic. All good in my book! We rolled into Great Barrington right at 7:20 PM but I had wanted to grab dinner at Teo's (about 30 miles away) since they have possilby the best Hot Dogs anywhere. They are all of about 3" long but the chili and steamed buns is really what makes them special! (besides it was time for a beer)

We rolled into Grandma's around 9 PM. Grandma's! It's ALWAYS been Grandma's -- yet, *now* saying that has new meaning.

My sister and son were already there. Grandma had already retired for the evening. Heather, Isaac, Megan, and I spent some time catching up on life and all too soon they all went to bed. I wasn't tired yet though. I SHOULD be after driving ALL day, but wasn't. I stayed up for a few more hours sitting there thinking and processing.

Yes, I KNEW Grandpa was gone, but it probably hit home MORE sitting in his house knowing I would never see him, hear him gripe at me again for shortcomings, or his*rare*, but enjoyed laugh, or ... ANYthing.

It was a bittersweet moment! I sat there recallng many memories. Some good, some not -- all real. It was tough, but probably necessary because some of that probably would not have happened had I been unable to go.

So that evening was my opportunity and privilege to come-to-terms with the situation that I would not have (as well) had I just stayed home; and I think I did.

Thursday dawned  ... and poor Grandma. She has her routine and has been doing it for ... YEARS!!! She woke in the morning and was going to fix a pot of coffee and turned on the living room light -- until she saw me lying asleep on the couch -- then turned it back off to go back and get a flashlight. She then proceeded to make the coffee and went back to bed -- I am sure she sat there with eyes wide open. Bless her heart she did that because she wanted to let *me* sleep. Little did she know, I was not.

About 6:40, I figured I would walk over to the grocery store (which was less than two blocks away) to grab a toothbrush and toothpaste as somehow or another those items were missing from my travel bag. My bag is *always* packed with everything except the clothes I will need -- this time, not so much.

Anyway, the store didn't open until 7 AM, so I waited. By the time I returned Gram was up and about. I gave her a hug and we caught up a bit too. It's so awkward speaking to someone who just lost a person that has been a part of their life for nearly 70 years.

This would be a tough day for Grandma. She would have to face a lot of things this afternoon throughout the course of the service. You could tell she was NOT looking forward to it. I was not envious.

The service was beautifully done. The funeral home reception speeches were nicely prepared and quite a valid look at Grandpa's ambiguous life. The funeral itself, was very nicely done. Grandpa was a WWII vet and was given a full, and very touching (I dang near cried), military-style funeral. It was quite tasteful.

Then there was the reception at the church. To this day, I still fail to understand why eating is such a big part of any funeral. My uncle Scott, had put together a great slideshow of over 300 pictures of people that were a part of Grandpa's life and it was great to sit there with some of my family and smile and giggle over some of the pics of the past that popped up.

After all the formalities, we went back to Gram's house (yeah still an awkwardness to say that, when there never used to be) and hung out. It was just Grandma, her daughter, Margot (as well as her boyfriend and son), Scott (her son), my sister (Heather), my kids, myself, and Scott's kids ... all family! It was nice!

After a while, I decided to go sit on the floor next to Heather, only to find her getting up to leave. WTF?!?

I gave her a hard time when it was returned to me. I was told they were leaving and I should go. I told them I had no interest in shopping (it should be noted here, I had a "few" high gravity beers at this point). I was then told they weren't shopping. When I asked where they were going I was told to just put my shoes on and go and I would find out. OKAY THEN!

My favorite cousin, my favorite sister, and my favorite daughter were going! How could I not go since they weren't shopping? Yeah, three women! my mind says "Uh-Oh!" but I said "Okay" and slipped my shoes back on.

As it turned out they were headed to the local bar. Sweet!

We all grabbed a drink (well two really -- except my "innocent" daughter who only had one "light" one) and tipped a glass to Grandpa. Nice!

The rest of the day/night passed quickly and everyone had returned home. Grandma retires early these days and was out by 8 PM. Heather also retires early because she typically gets up around 4 AM. 4 AM?!? Really?!? If I see 4 AM it's because I'm still awake!  ; )

The kids and I, being more of the night owl "shift" decided to play some cards. We played cribbage (3-way cribbage whips my ass EVERYtime since you cannot count on peg points), rummy, and poker. It was good! I cannot remember the last time we all played a game -- of any sort! We all laughed at some point about stupid stuff -- good times!

Friday dawned early and Grandma once again grabbed her flashlight to make coffee, but instead of heading back to bed, this time she sat in the kitchen in the dark. I wasn't sure what to do, but then Heather got up, so I had a graceful way to approach it. She was headed out for her morning walk. 

I heard her leave yesterday but didn't wish to intrude since I wasn't invited -- only to be told I *should* have. Well, this time I decided to join her. As it happened both Megan and Isaac were also up and moving so it was the four of us. Still all good!

I needed to get online to get an idea how long the ride "home" would take so I went to the library to get online. We were taking a bit of a detour in order to see a friend of Megan's in NYC and a friend of mine in D.C. area -- two areas I *despise* driving through! but both areas required careful planning of when you hit them.

We were supposed to meet her friend at Penn Station (a bus and subway terminal) in Manhattan. Now, I have driven through NYC rush hour traffic before -- it sucks! I SWORE I would never do it again.

but Downtown NYC? OMG! it MAY well be worse!!

HORRIBLE! it took from 1:00 to damn near 2:30 to get 3 miles!! TOTAL disregard for traffic etiquette! not just drivers, but pedestrians!

I can see why New Yorkers can be a hateful sort! If I had to drive through that shit on a daily basis ... OH MY (and this is coming FROM an asshole!)!!!!

It was horrible! yeah I said that, but it was bad enough to merit repeating! We finally found a parking garage (@ a rate of $22/hr) and got to Penn station and waited on her buddy whom had missed the train and decided to drive over from "nearby" Long Island.

Her buddy not only missed the train (by 1 minute -- poor guy) but also got off in the wrong area to meet us and was 15 non-traffic driving minutes away -- which took 10 minutes to figure out.

He went back to his car and got to us as fast as he could but time was ticking away. I grabbed a mandatory? Hot Dog from a street vendor stand -- it's like going to Philly -- gotta grab a Philly Cheese kinda thing! ... and we people watched!

Interesting melting pot New York is. And the cabbies! Oh my! I don't believe i have EVER heard so many squalling brakes and horns in a given time period as I did this afternoon ... EVER!!! I have no idea how these cabbies can stop! It's a mechanic's wet dream!

I told Megan we WERE leaving  by 3:30 whether he showed or not! I was going to get out of THAT city before rush hour .... PERIOD!!

He finally shows at 3-ish. I didn't want to be a jerk and cut them short of their visit, so I re-adjusted to a 4:00 mandatory departure time. It still sucked, but had to be that way.

We all got to hang out for a far-be-it short time, but we *had* to go -- as did he. He scored Springsteen tickets for a show in NJ with his girlfriend that night. Admittedly, I was a little jealous.

Leaving the parking garage was no simpler than driving through that Hell. There was some confusion with the parking garage attendant and apparently I skipped line? because the parking lot attendant used the wrong exit gate? still unsure what happened there.

All I know is some idiot wanted to kick my ass because of it and I was clueless as to what was going on. However, I had had enough at this point I was prepared to give the boy his money's worth. It didn't come to that, and I apologized to the attendant and was told I did nothing wrong and just hang on while they fixed it. It still cost $22-fuggin' to park for less than 90 minutes. If I never see that part of town in my own commissioned vehicle, I will be okay with that!

Anyway, we were able to navigate to the Lincoln Tunnel fairly quickly and I swear I never thought I would say, let alone HEAR, this, but .... I was damn glad to get into New Jersey. However, we still were not out of the woods (errr ... city), yet. We got turned around a couple times and Megan, not being used to her GPS probably told me to go the wrong way a "couple" times.

Pair this with the fact I was in the wrong lane to make the turn I wanted to a couple times -- not good! And I am "getting" frustrated by now. The game plan was to avoid the turnpike and any other TOLL ROAD!

I pay enough in gas taxes, I cannot bring myself to pay extra to ride on the road so I wanted to get to US1 (just west of where the toll part of I-78 was). After all the turning around and seeing it was nearly 5 PM now, I decided fugg it! I was getting on 78 and paying the toll -- just ... get me .... OUT of here .... NOOOWWW!!!!

As my mind came to this reasoning there was a set of road signs up ahead saying what Megan told me (go this way to US 1). However, 78 was the lane I was in and US 1 was 5 lanes (yes FIVE) ACROSS traffic to the left.

I figured there was no way in Hades I was going to make it to the US1 lane. Well, the light changed and if I goosed it, I had a chance. It was likely the worst gas mileage that truck has ever gotten!

I can honestly tell you, that for the first time in over two hours worth of driving, the smoke wasn't coming out of *just* my ears, but also out of my (well, the truck's) exhaust. I beat ALL traffic across ALL 5 lanes and got where I wanted to be. I thought it was too easy and expected doom and gloom but from there all else worked well and we made good time across 78.

We made good time across the commonwealth of PA and turned south. We got dinner at Arby's, somewhere in Maryland, and then continued on to see my buddy Skip (Smith) and his GF to join them for  a couple beers. Heck, I had Megan to drive for me at that point. She got to see a friend, and I wanted to as well since it was "on the way". I mean when are either of us going to get the opportunity to visit with either of them again?

We rolled into Skip's GF's house between 9 and 10 PM and sipped on two good beers but 11 PM came too quickly and that was the "time-to-make-tracks" time if Megan was to be back to meet her obligations, so we split ways and made some time.

About 2 hours later, my eyes got heavy so Megan took over for a couple hours to let me nap before we switched back. We rolled into Jefferson City about 6 AM (2 hours before her committment) where she had to be and I was home by 7 -- snoring commenced soon after.

Great trip! Really wish it were under different circumstances but again ... God Bless Melissa Wilbur Rockefeller for allowing it to happen! I am blessed more than I am worth!