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Sunday, November 14, 2010

writing to write ain't right ...

for me!



They say a good writer writes, everyday. Well, I guess a good writer, I shall never be. I set this blog up to do exactly that -- write, EVERYday! Obviously, I haven't done that too well.

It's odd. In high school, my 11th grade English teacher suggested that I take Creative Writing and told me she would send the required teacher's recommendation, since I was not in an advanced English class (which was a pre-requisite). I always hated composing papers and detested the reading assignments even more.

I fought her on the suggestion, initially, but she kept working at me and convinced me to try it. Apparently, I must have done pretty well with the papers I had to write.

One of the requirements we were graded on in that class was to keep a daily journal. It didn't have to be good. We were never graded on quality or quantity, just that we wrote  ... SOMEthing.

If I recall, she checked our journals every two weeks. Every thirteenth day, guess what I was doing? Yup, writing journals (usually 14 of them).   ; )    

She would let you know the ones she liked by inserting comments and would correct errors as well but the grade was solely based on having 14 compositons of some sort. It helped refine my writing, but still it was something I never really got into. Sadly, I guess I was too busy partying to be bothered.

I was way out of my league as the other students in the class were writing stuff far better than anything I could summon. I made a request to the teacher to allow me to opt out of the class. She was pretty understanding and did make arrangements for me to do just that.

For years, I didn't write. When I re-enrolled in college, of course, that changed, but as for writing to write, not so much. My first semester I took a writer's composition class and the instructor told us to do what is called "free writing".

Free writing is just writing whatever comes to mind. It doesn't need to have sentence structure, or grammar, or substance, or even make sense, just write. Write whatever comes to mind.

This concept was so  foreign to me. I struggled to write anything.

After the assigned 15 minutes, I think I had two or three sentences. I couldn't bring myself to just write "jibberish". Others in the class had a page either front or both front and back.

This is the basic problem I have. I don't bother to speak unless I feel I have something good to contribute. I struggle to write because I feel I have nothing to say. Much like this whole damn blog.   LOL

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

went for a dam ride ;j

Well, Melissa had the day off, the skies were clear of ANY chance of precipitation, the mercury was predicted to hit the 70s today (nice! especially for fall), and I need more seat time in Dad's hack'd wing. We headed out about noon with no plan in mind short of going to a parking lot and riding in circles, until I felt comfortable.

The parking lot exercise was short lived as I quickly found a comfort zone so her and I conferred on where to go and what to do with the day. She suggests a ride up to nearby Norris Dam and with a lack of any other ideas, that is where we went.

I came up with a route in my head that would put me on some twistier sections and provide the test I need. It wasn't "Dragon"-technical, but there were some tight bits involved.

I have done a LOT of reading about how to ride a hack since first getting on the thing and having it scare the crap outta me.   ; )      It is funny (ironic funny, not HaHa funny), that just about everything I have read has basically been a manual of  'what not to do' as opposed to preferred practices. I am not totally useless, I can serve as a bad example.   ; )

According to the 'experts', riding a sidecar rig with the sidecar empty is a big no-no. I have only been doing so to be able to establish some ideas what the rig wants to do and how to make it do what I want it to do without compromising others' safety.

I have also since learned the proper way to use the brakes and how to shift my weight to assist in steering.  These new-found techniques have helped me overcome the apprehension I have had since I first got on the thing and it tried to pitch me off the road.

After about 120 miles of riding, I have finally found enough of a comfort zone that I was ready for a passenger. Melissa was my first guinea pig ... errrm ... passenger.

So anyway, we head out on  US 411 over to TN-92 headed into Dandridge. The last time I mounted a motorcycle without full gear was one October morning a few years back.

It was the last time I had gotten on a bike without full gear because I had hit a deer on TN-92. Here I am some years later, wearing the same gear I had wore that morning (leather jacket, helmet, and gloves) and rode right past the same spot I hit that buck, albeit in the opposite direction. Luckily, this time no deer were involved.

I have totally gotten a rhythm down as to when to lean which way with each turn -- and more importantly, am reacting and doing so without thinking do I lean right or to the back and left? Do I apply rear brake or front brake? Should I be accelerating or decelerating? as I maneuver through the turns. Sweet! I am getting the hang of this sh*t!

We get to Norris Dam and spend at least an hour and a half there. The path out to the dam from the parking area was easily a half mile, maybe more.  I snapped some pics while there ...






 (I hate that a stitching programs warp the foreground of pictures to make the horizon fit together)

left click on this for a larger view of the classic piece of history .....















After a while, it's time to Motor-vate again! Melissa suggests stopping somewhere to get lunch. I am not really hungry, but a piece of pie and some sweet tea sounds like an *excellent* idea!

There is this little ol' country cookin' mom-n-pop style restaurant up the road from here that has ALWAYS got a full parking lot EVERY time I have passed it, so I suggest that. She is game, so that is where we go.

We get there and the lunch crowd has vacated, and honestly, this is the very first time I have EVER seen the place this empty when open. I am not hungry, but as soon as removing my helmet, I can smell their food. The olfactory senses tickled the pallet and stomach enough that now a piece of pie alone will not do. Man, it smelled good!

Melissa ordered a smoked turkey plate with two sides and I ordered a smoked ham plate with two sides with intent on sharing the meat. As soon as my plate arrived Melissa dipped into my sweet potato casserole. Damn , ya gotta watch that woman! The other side I ordered she didn't touch because she ordered some of her own -- fried mac-n-cheese (gotta love the south! we fry EVERYthing down Heah!).

Every thing was excellent, but while waiting on food, I still had a craving for pie so I had to spy the dessert menu to see what pies they offered. As I read the menu, I felt my eyebrow raise, and Melissa must've seen it as she giggled at me.

Orange Dreamsicle Cheesecake! Oh yeah baby! You KNOW I am ordering me some of that!

I somehow managed to finish my plate. The meat had a great smoky flavor to it, and the fried mac-n-cheese was pretty damned good, but the star of my plate was the sweet potato casserole.

There were chunks of brown sugar and cinnamon mixed amongst the creamy sweet potatoes. It was a textural sensation that just had the taste buds dancing.

I wasn't hungry before entering the restaurant, and I have eaten MUCH more than intended already, but the allure of the dessert menu made me gorge myself. I must say that even after eating it, it wasn't regretted, just decided that I ate lunch and supper at one sitting.   ; )

We waddled out to the bike and are headed back home, or so I thought. Again, no maps, no plan, I head south figuring to pick up TN-139 east towards home. While on 139, I come across US 25W/70 and cross the road, but somehow lose 139 and it dumped us on I-40 at the 407 mile marker.

Okay, no problem. I get on 40 east and head to the next exit and turn south to get back on 139 when I see the sign for Douglas Dam. I hadn't been there in a while so I head that way, instead of homewards.

We make it to Douglas Dam and take some more pictures ...













after that, THIS time, we head towards the house. What a great day!

Not only because I got to spend it with my wife, which is far too rare these days, but also that I gained a LOT of confidence on Dad's bike. I told him upon returning I have no problem putting him in that sidecar and taking him. Up until now, there has some apprehension, nervousness, and outright fear that I would kill him, me, or someone else .... not anymore.

I am quite pleased that I have gotten to this comfort level with a mere 200 miles under my belt since first mounting this sidecar-ring. It is sooo different than motorcycling.

However, there are still some habits I would like to break. The hack is conducive to a totally different posture than a motorcycle is.

I find myself flat footing the pegs, rather than using the balls of my toes like I am accustomed to on a motorcycle.  I have found that I have gotten lazy about not putting my feet down (no need on a 3 wheeled rig). I just hope that once I get back on a real motorcycle that I will be able to differentiate between them and not keep these habits that I have been adopting since riding the "land yacht".    ;  )



here is a link to more pics ...

http://picasaweb.google.com/edsrockin/WentOnADamRide#

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

nights in white satin? days of future passed? ...or ..... something like that

While headed to the fridge this evening, I happened to peak out the door and noticed a cloudless, abundantly star-filled sky.  It was too beautiful to ignore; even  the Milky Way was visible.


(this picture does not do the sky justice. I did feel like dragging out the DSLR and just used the Fuji which has a max of 3 second exposure)




It has been  a while since I just went out and stared at the stars. The temperature was rather mild, so why not?


As I sat there being serenaded by the happier crickets and listening to the warming, southwestern-driven breeze rustling through what leaves still remain on the branches, I got a bit nostalgic.


I began thinking of all the times I used to spend at the observatory at the local college on Friday nights. I was fortunate enough to have one of the most awesome astronomy professors at a school that was the beneficiary of an overwhelmingly generous contribution -- a 16" Meade Schmidt-Cassegrain telescope.


Our awesome professor allowed anyone that was interested to take a "test" to prove they could operate the 'scope without damaging it. Once cleared, you were given unsupervised, free reign to use it anytime you wished. 


I spent many, many, many hours and nights in the observatory enjoying all the things that could be seen from an earthbound 'scope. Some really late into the night/morning -- and many were coooooollldd. 


The only thing that was requested was that you would donate your time when you could on Friday evenings since we opened the telescope to the public so everyone who wanted could also enjoy the many celestial wonders that exist beyond our atmosphere. There were about four of us that were there on a regular basis over the course of the two years I was a  student there. Over that time, we all developed a camaraderie and become pretty good friends.


It is an experience that I treasure to this day. Those were good times, and I will likely never get my hands on such a piece of equipment as that again nor see any of those objects with such clarity. 


We have all seen pictures of the craters on the moon. It's different when you are looking at a "live" picture with awesome clarity. Likewise, with Saturn's rings, the storm on Jupiter, various nebulae, galaxies, and star clusters. 


It is quite humbling to stare at all these wondrous objects. It sure makes you feel small when you consider the scale and the fact that this light you are looking at (unless they were planets in our solar system) is millions of years old. 

Sunday, November 7, 2010

horse sense ...

Dad is a big fan of horse racing. He watches it almost daily since he has TVG as part of his DirecTV package. 

Today was a big day for horse racing fans with the running of the Breeder's Cup in Louisville, KY. He spent the day shuffling between college football and his horse races.

Apparently, my dog, Shiner

 
is also a fan of horse racing. While the big race of the day was being run, she parked herself right in front of the TV and stared at it .... and stared ... and stared.

It was comical. That dog was totally captivated.

I have never seen her have an interest in TV, but there was no denying that she was watching it today. I sure would love to know what she was thinking as she intently watched the horses running.

Once the race was over, she went back to her own little world. Dad was curious how many bones that Shiner bet, and on which horse she bet on.    ; )

Friday, November 5, 2010

I love these moments ...

Heh. Here we are, Dad and I, just being *totally* stupid and horse-laughing at (mostly) nothing. It is pretty sweet!

Of course alcohol has been involved, but it's all good. I treasure these moments. Not so much when Dad and I have been drinking, but the simplicity of just the two of us being .... us. It is far too rare these days!

We don't need alcohol but it helps 'break the ice' so to speak. Tonight both he and I are drinking. Again, not that it's necessary but somehow the drinking breaks down barriers/walls he and I have already built over the years.

Sure, there have been times this has turned ugly, but that is mostly due to his bitterness with being "less" than what he expected and me being every bit as stubborn and hard-headed as he has taught me to be over the years. Yeah, it gets ugly. Perspective, damn I need to hold on to perspective.

These rare moments that ain't always going to be at my disposal. I can recall many days that  I used to regret sharing my bedroom with my snowbird grandfather, Lyle. Great guy, but as annoying as the day is long. When he was with us, I, sadly, didn't appreciate his company as much as I have since his passing. (okay for context, I used to have to share my teenager bedroom with the man -- roll away bed, and guess who got the roll-away?)

I am lucky in that respect with Dad. I don't regret him nearly as much as I did with Lyle. Lyle was a character, don't get me wrong. Dad is too, but somehow in my ignorant youth I found Lyle to be more annoying than Dad, as much as Dad can be annoying (and for those not 'in the know' ... Dad is quite annoying at times).

It's all good. I am just happy that this night doesn't bring near the aggravation last Friday night did.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

wasted days ...

With Dad's physical state, someone needs to be here with him 24/7. Isaac is headed off for college come January and Dad's lack of trust in Melissa to lift him doesn't allow for me to get a (paying) job. 

As much as people complain about having to work everyday, at least when I was working, not only did I have a paycheck to help pay the monthly bills (as well as have some pocket money of my own), at the end of the day, I felt like I did something productive -- I had some self-respect. 

Dad sits here day in, day out in front of his idiot box and is content with it. We sit here day after day after day. 

The days keep slipping away. I feel like life is a waste these days. We never do anything, just sit here. Hours pass, days pass, months pass. 

Dad's routine is going from his bed to his TV and then back. That's it. He's convinced  he cannot do anything. I wish he was more of a "I can" instead of focusing on the "I can only do" kind of guy, but he has always seen the negative rather than the positive.

I tell him I am here for his benefit. I will take him wherever he wants, we can do whatever he wants, but he doesn't ever want to do anything but watch TV. Personally, I hate TV, but it's not about me.

So why bother typing up a blog about nothing? What is this a Seinfeld blog?   ;j

About a couple months ago, he suggested getting an old 30s model Ford project to work on. Cool! 

I told him  that would be great, but it would be something he would have to have a hand in. This would mean him actually going out to the garage and working on it WITH me. 

He seemed to be excited ... briefly. It is always fleeting with him. He has since found reasons that this isn't going to happen.

He bought a Goldwing with a sidecar and was all excited and talked about road trips for about a week or so. He still has yet to get in it. Granted, I was spooked the first couple of times on it, but I have since gotten a bit more comfortable with it.

Earlier this year, he dropped $30+ K on a new Challenger R/T and it sits in the driveway almost all the time. It only has about 400 miles on it, 250 of which were put on that first weekend. He also has an old mustang that sits in the garage collecting dust. Oh sure, these cars get out periodically to keep fluids flowing, but really it's a  rare thing.

He talks about going to a bar one of these days. We never do. He talks about going to Florida again to see old friends one of these days. We never do. "One of these days" ... damn, I wish I had a dollar for every time I have heard him say that phrase!

The past three days we were supposed to go do the weekly chore of shopping. Basically, it's the only time he ever gets out of the house anymore. Two days ago, he was sick, yesterday I was. Today was nasty and rainy, so again, we ... just .... sit ... here! I guess we are waiting on "one of these days".  

Total waste! I don't want him to go out all the time and spend money. However, I can't stand to see him sit here and constantly do NOTHING! It's pathetic!






Tuesday, November 2, 2010

choices choices .... choice? maybe?

I don't typically engage in discussions about politics. I am more prone to discuss religion because at least there is a basic knowledge and motive there for me (but to be honest I rarely even engage in those discussions either).

However, since this is election day, I guess I will make a stab at it. This is not about politicians in general, but about the landscape of politics. Two hundred plus years ago when this system we have was set up, it worked. There weren't as many people in the United States, and it surely wasn't as controlled by outside forces (lobbyists) as what Washington has become today.

I will confess that I have never voted. That is because I have never seen anyone that made it worth my time or that I identified with enough with to take the time. I am sure this sounds like a cop-out, but bear with me.

If I were ever to vote, voting at the local level is really all that appeals to me until we get rid of this cursed two-party-lesser-of-two-evils system. It's ridiculous!

America is waaaaayyy too eclectic to have a mere two "choices" to work with. W. only got elected to President because his first term he ran against Al Gore. He only got re-elected because he ran against John Kerry. I am not saying W. was the lesser of two evils in either instance, but the fact that there were two (realistic) options (not choices), allowed him to score the majority of the vote. Both elections were close ... probably the closest ever.

To further (and hopefully not belabor) the point, we have two people running to represent TN right now for a seat in Washington. The democratic candidate is Scott Desjerlais, the doctor (that is how he represents himself ... Scott Desjerlais, the doctor)

HTF is he qualified to fill a seat in Congress? I mean, really!

His opponent, Lincoln Davis, has engaged in smear attacks (another turnoff for me) and contends that Desjerlais has been accused of striking his wife and held a gun to his head in a standoff with the police at some point in his past. Desjerlais' smear capaign has gone after Davis saying he is hardly helpful to our times as he has sided with Pelosi and Obama during his tenure and voting Davis isn't any change ('more of the same' ... now where have I heard that before)?

So now the political landscape is so bad that we in TN are reduced to voting for a doctor (with a possibly sketchy past?) just "to achieve change". I am sure this is not an isolated incident, but since I don't have ny nose in the political realm, I cannot say.

Voting for someone just because they are not an incumbent is not a good policy. Sure it may cause change, but throwing someone in because they are not the one who has been there regardless of their qualifications? Just sounds like a recipe for disaster. Again, we need more than TWO choic.... errrr .... options!

Good luck to all that vote and I hope you find someone that you can relate with and that it will work out for you in the next six years.